


Complicated, Isn't It

by Spocksandshoes



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Angst, Confessions, Engie is still in love with Soldier and BLU Spy is tired of watching it play out, M/M, Napoleon Complex, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, feelings are complicated, helmet party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28760214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spocksandshoes/pseuds/Spocksandshoes
Summary: "He doesn't love you.""And what, you do?"[Based on Fanart with the same name by Velvvetcat09 on Tumblr.]
Relationships: Engineer/Soldier (Team Fortress 2), Engineer/Spy (Team Fortress 2), Soldier/Zhanna (Team Fortress 2)
Kudos: 44





	Complicated, Isn't It

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the original comic is heeeerre:  
> https://velvvetcat09.tumblr.com/post/182449263135/complicated-isnt-it
> 
> May add more to this, but this was literally written as a break from another fic so not sure yet.

They stood silently for a few moments, their guns levelled at each other. They stood, facing the direction of the battle, watching Soldier soar into the apex of his rocket-jump, and then plummet into the fray below.

Dell was standing by his dispenser. The smell of Soldiers cologne still lingered where he’d leaned not a minute earlier, lighting his cigar and chatting. The metal was still warm. He laughed, slapped Dell on the shoulder and soared off, breaking free of the gravity of the earth and flying upwards with a whoop that always made Dells heart lift.

He could watch that man forever. Even if he never looked back anymore.  
He was still the best thing to see.

But as always, Spies ruined everything.

So now he stood stock still, gun pointed to his left, where the Blue Spy had uncloaked. The spies gun tipped gently against his hard hat, a heavy reminder of what it could do.  
But neither of them moved. They both stood, watching Soldier go.

Dell kept looked outwards. “How long were you hidin' out there, Spook?”  
Did he know? Did he see how his eyes had followed Soldier, how he smiled a bit too much and how pathetic he was around the man? Course he had, Spies missed nothing that could benefit them.  
Dell always kept his heart on his sleeve and damn, he was a fool to.

Always the fool.

“Long enough.” Came the answer, and Dell shrugged like it didn’t matter. Just another bit of blackmail for a Spy. It was his own fault.  
“Well I’d love to stay and chat, but I got a teleport that really needs-”

“He doesn’t love you.” Spy interrupted him in that same calm tone, taking a long drag from the cigarette he held in his free hand.  
He didn’t sound mocking. He sounded tired.  
The smell of his cigarettes overpowered Sollys' lingering cigar smoke, and god help him, Dell resented him for it.

Dell turned his head to look at him, wounded. That was below the fuckin belt. His chest clenched, jaw working soundlessly as he tried not to say something dumb.  
_You think I don’t fuckin know that, hoss? You think I don’t think of that all the goddamn time?_  
He didn’t say anything. He was tired too. So so tired from loving a man that left and never really came back.

Well, he came back, but he came back with his arms and head fulla Heavy's sister.  
Solly hadn't loved him in a long time. Maybe he never had.  
Last thing he needed was a Spy taunting him with what he already knew.

“And what?” He managed to dredge up all the scorn his tired ass had left to offer and push it in into his words. He fixed Spy with his best withering look, hoping he'd just fuck off and not bother with this for much longer. “You do?”

Spy paused, glancing down at his cigarette for a moment too long before turning his head to look Dell in the eyes for the first time. And shit, ain't that a whole kick in the head. He didn’t look mockin’ either.  
Looked… resigned.  
Looked sad. Spy, master of never showing his hand, master of mocking folks til the cows came home, looked sad.

Spy spoke, and the finger on the Ambassadors trigger moved smooth and easy. Dell never heard the word but he saw Spys lips shape it before the world went black.

_Yes_

He opened his eyes in respawn. Standing in an empty room while the battle raged on ahead. He’d never even felt the bullet. But the word.

Aw hell, he felt that all right. He still felt it, the way his heart hammered in his damn chest, the way his lungs felt too full and not full enough.

And it shouldn’t mean anythin’. Not a damn thing, since he was in love with--  
With a man who didn’t spare him a thought after work hours had ended. A man who he’d wait and hope for and love like a damn fool til the grave claimed him.  
But the look in Spies eyes cut him right to the fuckin’ core. Is that how he looked at Solly?

Is that how Spy had always looked at him?

Stupid Spies. Stupid fuckin… Spies and their… their..  
Damn.

His Gunslinger clenched into a fist and it hit the floor with an audible crunch, cracking the tile.  
For a reason that had nothing to do with the impact, Dell felt the tears well and he clenched his jaw til it hurt, burying his head in his hands and kneeling right there on the respawn floor, overwhelmed.

Damn them both to hell.


End file.
